Katie Did and Katie Does
#Resound11: Home is…
Categories: #Resound11

Prompt 14 – Home is…: When did you feel most at home this year: in your life, in your space, in your career, in your skin? What factors make that situation feel like home? Do certain comforts make your space feel like home? Does being with certain people make you feel complete? Is there an activity in which you excel that makes you feel like you’re doing what you were meant to do? This is your life. Where do you live? Where is home?

For the first 4.5 months of this year, I had a job that required a 95-minute commute each way, four days a week. I knew going into it that the commute was going to be difficult, but only until I left that job did I realize how much it was a strain on me, my relationships, and the life I had built for myself in Buffalo.

I left this job to start my own freelance work in late springtime. It was not quite two weeks later that I was on my front porch sitting with my laptop, setting up ideas for what is now my business and reading industry blogs that I’ve been meaning to catch up on but hadn’t had the time for. It was a warm, clear day with a gorgeous breeze, and I stopped for a moment to observe my surroundings. I noticed the quietness of my usually busy neighborhood. I heard the birds chirping, and the trees rustling through the breeze. I was alone, and closed my eyes to feel the next wave of that warm breeze wash over my face. I opened my eyes and realized this is what I had been missing those five months I was displaced from my city. I missed my neighborhood. I missed my house. I missed the time allowed to stop and literally smell the flowers, hear the birds, or feel the temperature of the breeze.

These are important things, but I couldn’t believe how much I missed them. I couldn’t believe how much I missed Buffalo. Or my time and freedom for that matter. For the first time in my life, I had nowhere I had to be. I was doing whatever the hell it was that I wanted. The course wasn’t laid out in front of me. Instead, I was charting it myself.

It was then that another thought occurred to me: not only am I charting my own course, but I am sharing my life with someone I love–a feat that seemed impossible to achieve not too long ago–and living in a place that, when I’m too far from it, something about my life feels uneasy and uncomfortable.

And that inspired me to share what I was feeling with others:

Life is always beautiful, but in this particular moment, I felt grateful beyond words to be home again, to be comfortable, and to be utterly content. Sometimes it’s a struggle to remember that your level of happiness is determined solely by you and how much you either accept or reject something. And other times, that contented feeling is so overwhelming that there’s as much a chance of stopping it as stopping a locomotive charging full-speed. And in those moments of utter content with loving thoughts for yourself and the things around you flowing freely, know that you must be home.

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